Saturday, April 5, 2014

Babyboomer Remarrying :Should You Marry for Love?

This raises a lot of issues about the nature of love, and just how intuition could be applied in such a major decision as partner choice. Widows and widowers often find themselves in a position later in life where they want to make a decision about gaining a new partner. Decisions made at a young age would have been influenced by a more idealistic notion of romantic love then what situation a person finds themselves in at this stage in life.
    So now, a person finds himself/herself able to take advantage of the wisdom of marital satisfaction/dissatisfactions--older and wiser, with different needs as a result of age, health, wealth
accumulation. Plus, how to prioritize the needs of companionship, affection, sex, not to mention security. Some people like the " living together separately" group really only want someone to travel with, go to entertainment venues, or just occasionally go out to dinner. These latter have had all they want out of a marriage and are satisfied with that. Decision-making at this level is more about dating then it is about marriage.
   Others have a serious opportunity to remarry, perhaps fulfilling some of the needs they did not have fulfilled in a previous marriage. Decision-making now becomes a bit more complicated. For example, should one choose a partner based on practical considerations, or could you make a choice based on not just what your head tells you what your heart tells you.
    I think here's where intuition comes into the picture. By now you may have learned whether to trust your intuition's generally speaking.
    This is a fairly large group of people I am talking because an AARP statistic says that 45% of those over 65 are now divorced widowed or separated, and they are the fastest growing segment of online daters.  AARP now has its own matchmaking service. I think it is safe to say that the difficulty of this new group of potential couplers is more about trusting love and intuition than it is about age. According to the New York Times "(Matchmakers Help Those Over 60...") article on this issue some people are paying big bucks to find
just the right mate through matchmaking services. It turns out that women are the big searchers, because there're fewer men alive at this age.
    Intuition comes into play when you have to trust a  decision that is more complex than it was when you were younger. Reconnecting at this stage in life at whatever level of involvement you may choose, requires, some assessment of your emotional needs, and  knowing what you want out of life considering that it is now shorter period of time . Matchmaking services may help to put you in touch with those whom you have listed as having preferred qualities, such as education political stance, tastes in entertainment,and desire to travel. But as rationali this might be, your final decision will probably be relying on intuition. What role do dreams, prayer, meditation play in sharpening intuition?

1 comment:

  1. It is interesting that some older adults do not choose to get married again because of financial consequences i.e. loss of former spouse's pension benefits, insurance, Children's inheritance etc. They are content to be a couple and live together retaining their financial independence.

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